My Immortal--A Reader's View
by An Arm and a Leg
Summary: I have made it my goal to finish this awful story(partially to help my writer's block) and decided to post it. Let's see how far I get before I crack...Rated M for terribly written sex scenes and cursing. Warning: Side effects may include loss of breath from laughing too much, the melting of your brain, decrease in IQ, and/or the sudden urge to kill someone...preferably Tara. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N(fake): Hey gys Ange hre! OM;G sooo i sa dis storrrri and i was liek, OMG SO KAWAI! SO I DECiedd 2 mak mi on lik it hop u lik!111!**

**A/N: Gods, that was horrible.**

**Okay, I decided to write this 'cause I'm slightly in a mental rut concerning my main story. And I needed some fun. Let me point out that I am not, in fact, a plagiarizer or not creative, I'm simply doing this 'cause I can.**

**Before I begin, I want to give you all a bit of a back story.**

**Look up 'worse fanfic' and you'll find it. Written by Tara Gilesbie in about 2006, My Immortal has gone on to become the most infamous fanfiction of all time. Honestly, it's so bad it's good. The original story was pulled down, but not before getting around 10,000 reviews-most of them flames. Since then, it has gotten its own Wiki page and Facebook page. Multiple people have reuploaded the story(one being at s/8352390), mostly for the lolz it gets. My Immortal is so bad, many believe that Tara is actually a troll. Rated M for poorly written sex scenes and cursing(some being from me).**

**So, now that you know what you're in for, let's begin. Welcome to the train wreck known as My Immortal.**

_**(Italics): Me**_

Normal: Sadly, Tara.

**Disclaimer: I don't own this story or Harry Potter. Thank Gate for the former...**

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Chapter 1. 

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)(It begins…) 2 my gf (ew not in that way)(What's wrong with it being that way?) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way(What's with the apostrophe?) and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)(Uh, first of all, ebony and black are the same color. Second, your parents must be psychic. How'd they know that you were gonna have black hair?) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).(Wish I could, but I'm kinda challenging myself to finish this horrible train wreck.) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.(Really? Incest, much?) I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.(That defies all logic. Hell, this whole thing defies logic. How in the world do you feed with blunt teeth?) I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England(Hogwarts is in Scotland. Even I know that.) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)(No fucking way. I thought you were 14.). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)(...You seem pretty happy.) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there(Uh, doesn't Hogwarts have a dress code?). For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow(Blah, blah, blah, don't really care. It's not like I'm gonna dress like this any time soon.). I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining(It's called sleet.) so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.(Wow, aren't you a ray of sunshine?) 

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up.(Wait...does that mean that she looked up at the sky? Cause I'm pretty sure that she was looking at 'preps' before.) It was…. Draco Malfoy! 

"What's up Draco?" I asked. 

"Nothing." he said shyly.(...Shyly? Draco Malfoy does not do 'shyly'.) 

But then, I heard my friends(Bwahahahaha! Your friends? You have friends?!) call me and I had to go away. 

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! (No. It's not good.) 

Chapter 2. 

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta(What exactly is she helping you with?)! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!(Surrre we will…) 

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had(*blinks* You had a bottle of blood in the dorms?). My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends(Uh, I'm pretty sure that pink isn't a goth color. I actually thought it was a preppy color.). I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun(Long, unnecessary clothes description is long and unnecessary. Hello, have you heard of the Hogwarts uniform?). 

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)(You inserted your friend? That won't end well…) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes(Whoa, skills, man. She smiled at Ebony, flipped her hair, and then opened her eyes!). She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)(*sighs*)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.(Did she say Oh emm eff gee or Oh my fucking God?) 

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. 

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. 

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. (Dude, she asked you a question. You don't have to blow up at her for asking.) 

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me. 

"Hi." he said. 

"Hi." I replied flirtily. (Didn't you just say you didn't like him? Then why are you flirting with him?) 

"Guess what." he said. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.(Good Charlotte is a Muggle band. Why would they be in Hogsmeade?) 

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.(Again, Muggle bands. You shouldn't even know what they are unless you're muggleborn, and seeing as you're a vampire, I'm pretty sure you're not muggleborn. Draco wouldn't even be talking to you if you were.) 

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.(Muggle band. Shouldn't like them.) 

I gasped.(Wow, how dramatic. You're acting as if he proposed to you.) 

Chapter 3. 

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws(What good reviews?)! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte._**(At least spell the name right.)**_

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff(How specific.) on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky(Contradictory.). I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists(Wow. How casual.). I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick.(Blah, blah, blah.) I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway.(Huh? But you put on foundation earlier…) I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.(Where'd she get the blood from? And I'm pretty sure that's not legal.) 

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too)(Gah! Muggle stuff, muggle stuff, muggle stuff! Jeez!), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).(Not saying anything. Nothing wrong with guyliner. But on Draco?) 

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.(...My mind has exploded. You said hi with an exclamation mark in a depressed voice?) 

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)(First, Muggle car. Second, trying a bit hard with the plate, aren't we?) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs(You guys must rule at multitasking. You listened to two bands at the same time, then smoked cigs and drugs at the same time.). When we got there, we both hopped out of the car(And fell to the ground and died, the end, right?). We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.(Damn.) 

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song)(No way. Really? I just thought that random fucking bands who don't know you sing your songs.)._**(9/21/14: And now I hate her cause I found out that I like Good Charlotte. Screw you, Tara. You ruined a band for me.)**_

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice(*laughs* Smooth, Ebony. Say that in front of your date.).

Suddenly Draco looked sad. 

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on. 

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. 

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.(Sensitive and protective. Wow.) 

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch."(You don't know Hilary Duff, either.) I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.(PFFFT. *laughs hard* Her blonde face...HAHAHA!) 

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz(Cause it's easier than walking), but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!(What's with all the ellipses?)

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**A/N:** **So, that was the first three chapters. Good? Bad? Hate Tara right now? Tell me in a review! You can use it to flame the story, Tara, or even me...*shrugs* I really don't care. **

**Until next time,**

**Angie, signing off.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, this is kinda sad. No reviews at all. Although there is one follower. Thanks, NotWhatSherl! 

Ah, well. I'm not really doing this for the reviews or the favorites or the follows. I'm doing it just cause I want to. I would appreciate if you did review, though. Even reviewing just to say hi would mean a lot to me.

Just a head's up to anybody who's reading this, this story is not going to have a set updating day. I'm just going to update when I can. I have school now *shudders*, which means that I can't write on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, anyways.

Well, here ya go. I made it extra long for you guys. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't wanna own. Especially this crap fic.**

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Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK_**(*rolls on the floor laughing her guts out* BWAH HA HA! E-Ebon-y's name i-is EN-ENOBY, n-not Mary Su!)**_! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent_**(*still laughing* Y-Yeah, cause I act crazy when I like a guy! HA HA HA HA!)**_! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"_**(Driving into the Forbidden Forest. Duh.)**_

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it_**(And fell five feet down to the ground, breaking his neck.)**_. I walked out of it too, curiously._**(Yeah, oddly enough, I walked out too! And fell to my death.)**_

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily._**(Damn, she's still alive!)**_

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness_**(Contacts show emotion?)**_ and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore_**(Yeah, cause seeing sorrow and evilness makes me feel better.)**_.

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately_**(...I think we're missing something there.)**_. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree_**(We made out smartly against a tree…)**_. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra_**(Gasp! You naughty vamp!)**_. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time._**(What a mature sex scene.)**_

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere_**(Like, on the ground and a squirrel passing by? Or everywhere on each other's bodies?)**_ and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…_**(*sigh* Y'know, you only needed three.)**_….Dumbledore!_**(*dies of laughter* I can so see him yelling that as he stomps towards them. That would be hilarious to see in a movie…)**_

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr_**(I'm neither.)**_! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok _**(Uh huh. Cause I curse at people when I have a headache.) **_an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx_**(How'd he even know they were there?)**_! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!_**(Yeah, not happening, sweetie.)**_

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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted._**('ludacris fools'. Pfft. Ludacris is a rapper. I think you meant 'ludicrous'.)**_

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face._**(Oooh, you should get that checked. I'm sure that's not healthy.)**_ Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall_**(Huh? Why's McGonagall here?)**_ who were both looking very angry._**(...About what? They have no idea what happened.)**_

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall._**('mediocre dunces'. Pfft. They're lukewarm idiots? Man, they're not even good at being idiots.)**_

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."_**(See, kids, that's how you get out of trouble. You just exclaim your love for someone. Works every time.)**_

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels_**(*sings* Don't care…Wait a second. You wore heels to go to sleep?)**_. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte_**(How the fuck did he get in? Don't the stairs turn into a slide?)**_. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!_**(NO, thank you.)**_

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The next day I woke up in my coffin_**(As opposed to...the roof? The halls? Hell?)**_. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears_**(But...you're a vamp. Why crosses?)**_. I spray-painted my hair with purple._**(Purple...what? Just purple?)**_

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood_**(Gross. Why do they have muggle cereals anyways?)**_. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top_**(That's gonna be hard to get out.)**_.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face_**(You...were going down his face?)**_ and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore_**(How do you know that he wore glasses? You just...)**_ and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore_**(Wait a second…)**_. He had a manly stubble on his chin_**(No.)**_. He had a sexy English accent_**(No, no…)**_. He looked exactly like Joel Madden_**(Nonononono…)**_. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko_**(You said it, not me. But...)**_.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice_**(Shy…?)**_.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter_**(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT HARRY!)**_, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled._**(*headdesk* *headdesk*)**_

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled_**(Giggled. *headdesk*)**_.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered._**(*sigh* Whimpered…?)**_

"Yeah." I roared_**(Roared?)**_.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws_**(Who gave you those five good reviews? Maybe people who are laughing at how terrible this is, but...)**_. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons_B__**(Good luck with that.)**_! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS_**(That's not a flaw, hon. Also, there's a category of Sue called a Goth Sue. Enoby(or however she spells her name) is one.)**_! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!_**(Goth Sue.)**_

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Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?)_**(Yes.)**_. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…_**(unneeded ellipses are unneeded.)**_

We started frenching passively_**(How do you french passively?)**_ and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra_**(That has to be uncomfortable.)**_ and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine_**(You have a boy thingie?)**_ and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)_**(Yes. My brother can write a better sex scene. He's 11.)**_

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!_**(How'd you miss it? It's on his arm! And it has a guy's name on it! Also, when did he get it? Is there like a wizard tattoo shop that treats minors?)**_

I was so angry._**(Why? It just says 'Vampire'. Technically, it could just be referring to A vampire, not...the Harry parody.)**_

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"_**(Which means that you now have AIDS.)**_

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked_**(Well, that's smart.)**_. He had a really big you-know-what_**(Actually, I don't know. What? A big teddy bear? A big hairdo? Or are you saying he had an erection? Jeez. Could'a just have said so.)**_ but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people_**(I cannot be bothered to say their names or even just 'Hufflepuffs' or 'Slytherins'.)**_.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled._**(Wouldn't you just love to yell this out in class? I would.)**_

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing_**(*snorts* Flassing…)**_ ok! if u do de prep!_**(I'm not a prep. I even checked for you.)**_

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked_**(Wow, that's not something you see every day.)**_ and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith_**(What's with the apostrophe?)**_ smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length_**(Uh, does that mean it was as long as waste?)**_ gothic black_**(There are a lot of black haired people in this story…)**_ hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on_**(She...was wearing contact lenses over blood? And another red-eyed person?)**_. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on_**(Yeah, cause you always put white makeup on white skin.)**_. Hermione_**(Wait, what's Hermione have to...oh, no.)**_ was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it_**(Dude...I'm gonna commit suicide because I'm depressed about this. Really? You just HAD to change Hermione, too?)**_. She still has nightmares about it_**(But...it happened when she was born. She shouldn't even remember it.)**_ and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger_**(How would she not know that if she remembered everything from when she was a baby?)**_. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice_**(Since when did he get so...elegant in his speech?)**_ but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him._**(It should be the other way around. 'Draco, I can't believe you cheated on me with Vampire!')**_

Everyone gasped._**(Because people care when others cheat on each other.)**_

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me_**(Huh? Did we change perspectives?)**_. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony_**(Really? She's shown no interest in girls at all in this story so far.)**_) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy_**(GASP!)**_ fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed_**(Aaand we're back.)**_. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility_**(Virility?)**_ to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox_**(We can tell.)**_! dis is frum da movie_**(Huh? It is?)**_ ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE!_**(Because when you have a headache, you swear.)**_ and da reson snap dosent lik harry now_**(Snape(I'm assuming that 'Snap' is Snape) liked Harry at all?)**_ is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist_**(Sooo...let me get this straight...SNAPE doesn't like HARRY because while HARRY is a Christian, VAMPIRE(Who is HARRY) is a SATANIST. Okay then…)**_! MCR ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose_**(Yeah, you said that before.)**_ (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!_**(He looked like Voldemort, but it was...Voldemort! Plot twist!)**_

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away_**(Actually...that could work…)**_

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him_**(And that could not. Crookshanks is a cat, not a spell. Yelling a cat's name does not cause someone to feel agony. The real spell is Crucio, by the way.)**_. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped._**(You felt bad that you were killing the Dark Lord, so you stopped. Okay. Good job. You just made this story longer. *sighs*)**_

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"_**(Oh, look, Old English. I didn't know Voldemort spoke like that.)**_

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?_**(Didn't they mention that before?)**_

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun._**(A gun? Why a gun? They have wands.) **_ "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way._**(How did he know what? That Draco is her beloved? Is Draco really her beloved anyways?)**_

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly._**(Telekinesis. He doesn't have fucking telekinesis. Also, having telekinesis means that you can move objects with your mind. I think you mean telepathy.)**_ "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick._**(Y'know, I'm actually impressed. That whole time, she managed to spell Voldemort's name right.)**_

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"_**(Why are you so perky? You stormed off.)**_

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)_**(It took me a while, and when I figured it out, I wanted to strangle myself, but yes. You mean cross.)**_ between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out._**(Skills, man. It's not easy to make out and walk at the same time.)**_

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**Well, that's all for now. Please review! It means a lot to me.**

**Until next time,**

**Angie**


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